Easy Lovin
I can’t remember the lyrics to the song. That should be a relief although you all have never had the agony of hearing me sing.
There’s a book by C. E. Morgan, All the Living, came out last year, audio this year. We listened to it a week or so ago in the truck. It’s a decent book. My husband will do chick flicks and read Oprah books, yes with his baseball cap and cowboy boots, but this isn’t exactly chick lit. All the Living is just a pretty good book.
That said there’s a phrase in it that I remember so very well. Something about you get rid of the loving you’ve got because it seems too hard and go after what you think is easier loving. Then you find out there’s nothing there where you thought there was easy lovin.
How many of us (100%) can say we’ve been guilty of thoughts like this? I don’t know how to say this without saying something I don’t mean but my husband and I don’t always have easy loving. It’s sort of like I can talk bad about him and tell him how horrible he is but no one else had better criticize him because they would be WRONG. I’ve often wondered about this. Second marriages are supposed to be more fragile than first, we’ve lasted almost 20 years so it’s sort of a success, especially with all the cards we had stacked against us. The loving isn’t always easy but it’s strong, get your mind out of the gutter if it’s there. Talking frankly we’ve had months where I wouldn’t give you a plugged nickle for him. Then he turns around and insists we take care of my dad with Alzheimers or tells me I’m prettier than some movie star just in passing conversation so I know he actually means it. Or he calls me 10 times a day, or practically jumps up and down when I say I will go with him in the truck. Or I look @ the car he insisted on buying me, (I wish he hadn’t we are STILL paying for it but the thought was there).
I knew when I was a teenager that there were boys and men whom I could walk all over. Do anything to and they would come back for more. That would have been EASY lovin and that’s who some of the marriage “experts” and my mother thought I should marry. I knew life would be duller than dishwater with them. I was also doing myself a favor by not letting myself be the manipulative b**** I knew I could be. I was also doing those other guys a BIG favor by not marrying them. So the easy loving isn’t always the best thing for everyone. Sometimes it’s hard but if you pull through it’s better than anything else you could have had or @ least I think so.
Anyway that’s what I thought about that book and the message it gives. It’s worth reading. I think it would be good required reading before you get married or before you are allowed to divorce. I know that’s simplistic but it might cause some people to think.
Sort of like anything in life that comes too easy we tend to take it for granted. It’s those things (like marriage) that we have to work at that we learn to appreciate. Hmmm, that’s not exactly how I meant to say it but it’s getting late.
Sounds familiar, I didn’t marry any of the ones my family liked (the duller than dishwater reason) but no regrets at all.