Embarrassing Children
http://www.islandroar.com/2010/06/penance.html
I read a post of Maureen’s entitled Penance over @ Island Roar. (go check it out, I love her blog) Anyway it seems she embarrassed her daughter unintentionally but with good reason. That’s not what I want to write about. I want to write about embarrassing your children intentionally for the PURE pleasure of embarassing them. Remember the toddlers who screamed words you preferred they not know to the general public. Who said things like mommy please don’t beat me if you scowled @ them, you know they were about 3 ft tall and running under the clothes racks @ a swanky department store with chocolate on them that you had told your mother NOT to give them? When they are teenagers your chance for revenge comes…And you thought this was going to be about children embarassing you? Heavens NO!!
Warning, if you expect me to be politcally correct forget it and go on. You have been warned.
I remember a gradutation and my oldest step son, it must have been my second daughters graduation..I wanted a graduation program, simple request right?…I asked him to go get one from a teacher (we had arrived early to save half the seats on the gym floor for the extended family by body slamming chairs and acting like TV wrestlers if anyone looked our way but that’s another story) he was embarrassed to chase said techer down being as he was like in 8th grade and trying to be invisible or cool since he was there with me probalby invisible, he wanted to wait till she came close, of course he was 13 and had patience I was in my late 30s and knew the sand had started running out of my hourglass. I asked him if he would rather I whistled between my teeth and yelled hey you, gimme a program, I pay your salary, from 100 ft away or he would like to go get one for me….it’s simple things like that that REALLY make a mothers heart go ping. He got the program for me. After that all it took most of the time was “would you like for me to embarrass you” gained instant obedience, you just have to be willing to sacrifice ANY dignity, (I never had any so it’s not a great reach) the kids did leave home fairly early though?
Any public outing can be used to your advantage and I’ve found the age limits can go on and on. You see with age you really don’t care while the children think that they still may have to impress some friends or at least pretend a small degree of normalcy runs in the family? My children are now in their 30s and the opportunities that present themselves @ their childrens school functions are limitless. Yelling, throwing things, appearing in hoochie coochie clothes…that’s the joy of being a grandparent. Of course you don’t want to upset the grandchildren. They are not your targets, their parents are so you have to appear as normal as possible when they are close by. Of course it helps that when we were just parents watching our childrens games we yelled and threw popcorn @ the referees, asked after his eyesight and mental state, and wore hoochie coochie clothes it was excellent practice? I’m thinking something happened in between the generations?
My daughters are the only people who insist I am loud and obnoxious sometimes. Well maybe not the only but the only ones who tell me on a regular basis. Perhaps this is because the rest of the world says I am too quiet on occasion. Not many people do but some especially after the hypnosis. I am thinking the daughters view is skewed and they want me to think I’m louder than I am in order to keep me from doing things which they don’t like?
One of thesaid daughters once yelled out a car window that one of the school employees had the hots for thier mama to probably 50 students and teachers outside of a gymnasium. See why I get so much joy from embarrassing the children? I made her go explain and apologize but it was mortifying. Especially because the school employee was HAWT and I meant to capitalize that!
Children are not the only ones whom can be blackmailed by thretening embarrassment. Spouses do require a bit more coercion which means entirely not PC but threatening to pretend some sort of disability in public can do wonders for your spouse. Or finding a trinket and going on loudly about how fascinating the plastic encased barbie with the jewels would just complete your husbands doll collection over and over and over and the purple would contrast nicely with his pink feathers in his bedroom that he won’t let you in because the other boys are always in there …or the mere mention of speaking things like this loudly will often get the desired results?
I hope you’ve gained a bit of insight from todays post. And when you read the advertisment from my family offering to sell me into white slavery cheap you will know it’s in your best interest to ignore it and go on….
I read a post of Maureen’s entitled Penance over @
Island Roar. (go check it out, I love her blog) Anyway it seems she embarrassed her daughter unintentionally but with good reason. That’s not what I want to write about. I want to write about embarrassing your children intentionally for the PURE pleasure of embarassing them. Remember the toddlers who screamed words you preferred they not know to the general public. Who said things like mommy please don’t beat me if you scowled @ them, you know they were about 3 ft tall and running under the clothes racks @ a swanky department store with chocolate on them that you had told your mother NOT to give them? When they are teenagers your chance for revenge comes…And you thought this was going to be about children embarassing you? Heavens NO!!
Warning, if you expect me to be politcally correct forget it and go on. You have been warned.
I remember a gradutation and my oldest step son, it must have been my second daughters graduation. I wanted a graduation program, simple request right? I asked stepson to go get one from a teacher (we had arrived early to save half the seats on the gym floor for the extended family by body slamming chairs and acting like TV wrestlers if anyone looked our way but that’s another story) he was embarrassed to chase said techer down being as he was like in 8th grade and trying to be invisible or cool ( since he was there with me probably invisible was his goal), he wanted to wait till she came close. I asked him if he would rather I whistled between my teeth and yelled “hey you, yo, gimme a program, I pay your salary”, @ the teacher from 100 ft away or he would like to go get one for me….it’s simple things like that that REALLY make a mothers heart go PING. Stepson got the program for me. After that all it took most of the time was “would you like for me to embarrass you” gained instant obedience, you just have to be willing to sacrifice ANY dignity. (I never had any so it’s not a great reach) Our kids did leave home fairly early though?
Any public outing can be used to your advantage and I’ve found the age limits can go on and on. You see with age you really don’t care while the children think that they still may have to impress some friends or at least pretend a small degree of normalcy runs in the family? My children are now in their 30s and the opportunities that present themselves @ their childrens school functions are limitless. Yelling, throwing things, appearing in hoochie coochie clothes…that’s the joy of being a grandparent. Of course you don’t want to upset the grandchildren. They are not your targets, their parents are so you have to appear as normal as possible when they are close by. Of course it helps that when we were just parents watching our childrens games we yelled and threw popcorn @ the referees, asked after his eyesight and mental state, and wore hoochie coochie clothes it was excellent practice? I’m thinking something happened in between the generations as to alter the next generations perception of their best course in life?
My daughters are the only people who insist I am loud and obnoxious sometimes. Well maybe not the only ones but the only ones who tell me on a regular basis. Perhaps this is because the rest of the world says I am too quiet on occasion. Not many people do but some do……. especially after the hypnosis. I am thinking the daughters view is skewed and they want me to think I’m louder than I am in order to keep me from doing things which they don’t like?
One of the said daughters once yelled out a car window that one of the school employees had the hots for thier mama to probably 50 students and teachers outside of a gymnasium. See why I get so much joy from embarrassing the children? I made her go explain and apologize but it was mortifying. Especially because the school employee was HAWT and I meant to capitalize that!
Children are not the only ones whom can be blackmailed by thretening embarrassment. Spouses do require a bit more coercion which means entirely not PC but threatening to pretend some sort of disability in public can do wonders for your spouse. Or finding a trinket and going on loudly about how fascinating the plastic encased barbie with the jewels would just complete your husbands doll collection over and over and over and the purple would contrast nicely with his pink feathers in his bedroom that he won’t let you in because the other boys are always in there …or the mere mention of speaking things like this loudly will often get the desired results?
I hope you’ve gained a bit of insight from todays post. And when you read the advertisment from my family offering to sell me into forced labor or some sort of slavery cheap? You will know it’s in your best interest to ignore it and go on….
Kids and Grandkids...
BTW Image is from here..
So where do we go then? We go to the CATTLE AUCTION channel, I suppose it’s a whole channel, it’s endless, cows running around in a field and an auctioneer. Pretty close to pure hades. He keeps looking @ me till I finally blow after about 10 minutes..he’s actually commenting on the buyers and cows, I’m heading for the rubber room.
