Tresa's Blog

Way Too Much Email

I haven’t been on facebook yet today and it’s after 1 PM, a new record.  Seriously do you see the numbers in the inbox on yahoo?  4000+ emails makes it really hard to find anything.  There were almost 6000 when I started this morning.  (pats self on back)   I’m getting rid of all that are junk or semi junk, putting the rest in folders and organizing it all every morning!  My filters quit working for some reason or else it would be organized anyway.

See you again when I feel virtuous and clean.

I have a gmail account too and one on my home provider server but I am afraid……..

I had a bad week last week, (see here and here), as of Friday it wasn’t over.  UPS was supposed to deliver a bank deposit by Friday,  by 11 am Friday the envelope had traveled all of 20 miles instead of 100.  I find this out online so I’m trying to get more details by calling UPS.  My first mistake, they are the ultimate in press 1 and we will make your life miserable and run you around till you can’t think straight phone information services.  So I put the tracking number in by phone and the phone system says they have no idea where the package is but it hasn’t been delivered which is a lie according to the online tracking system.  So then it says press 2 for further information, I do and it says put in tracking number and then you can talk to a representative, so I put the tracking number in and it says it has no idea what happened to my package but I will need a valid tracking number before I talk to a representative.  Can you feel the love I’m experiencing for these people right now?  I go through the rigamarole again and twirl the dead cat, I’m getting frustrated.  So I curse D@*& You.    Instantly a voice comes on the phone and says we will connect you with a representative right now.

So now you know the proper use of cursing.  Package was still in KS when it was supposed to be in MO, nothing could be done about that, they can’t even give me credit for it till it actually gets delivered but I got to talk to a human and that is worth something.

I used the term “Hey Stupid” to get my husbands attention as we were leaving IHOP the international restaurant this morning.  My daughter was with us and remarked that people should be around me to know why she acted as she did.  I wasn’t being mean or even derogatory to my husband and I had something legitimate to say.  We know when we are joking and when we aren’t.  The dog also answers to “Hey Stupid.”   If I start cooing and saying lovey dovey things everyone worries.

So then this afternoon I return my 70 year old brothers phone call (I was an afterthought with my parents, he is OLD, I am not).  He is a YOUNG 70 like we aren’t sure which childhood he is in.   He wanted to buy a new convertible a couple weeks ago..and has a racecar…  Anyway he wanted help with his new computer but had gotten it figured out, I know he can figure it out, I did, and I’ve seen him get on my computer so…….

So I get on facebook to  tell the masses there is fresh blood to pick on a new relative who has email.   My nephew replies ——-HE GOT A COMPUTER!!  It just struck me (perhaps because I had discussed the computer thing with the nephew previously) that of course my brother has a computer if he has email.  So what do I do?  Answer nicely?

You surely jest.

I wrote back and said no he didn’t get a computer he receives the messages through his brain waves by sitting there and humming.  Then I waited for the cursing to begin.  I was almost immediately gratified.  But I’m sitting there waiting for the reply and I’m grinning and I suddenly think, WHY does this make me SOOOO happy?  BTW my nephew used the exact curseword I knew he was going to use, perhaps because it fit?

I love my relatives….

My phone fell in the dog water twice this spring here in the truck.  The second time did it in, that’s one insurance claim.  My husband lost his phone on the tractor, almost had another claim but we found it in the middle of BFE in stubble.  It’s been so hot lately that there’s condensation where the hot under the truck bunk meets the cool ac air and there’s a bit of a puddle on the floor on occasion. (we  blamed it on the dog till we figured out what it was!!) I don’t use my phone tethered to my computer up front much anymore because of the dog water incident.  So I drop it the other day and don’t notice it and guess where it lands?

You’ve got it, you win the prize!! (no prize, it’s called a figure of speech).  The phone was in the puddle of water in back, phone was fine but I said enough is enough, the phone is DRAWN to water. (sort of like coffee and my cadillac, I had an eclipse for years, kept it pristine, get a cts and I’ve spilled gallons of coffee in it!  The dogs have helped greatly though, and then there was the strawberry shake on the floor.)  So I put my phone in the laptop case and zipped the cover, the photo above is of said case with tether cord going inside.  I know it’s hard on phone batteries getting that hot but it’s going to have to be a mighty big water puddle for the phone to get wet…….

The regular phone case won’t let me plug into the side of the phone so now I have the biggest phone case in history, does the trick though, I don’t drop it in water!!

I”m not saying I slept with a homeless man now am I, that would be cause for concern wouldn’t it since I’m pretty sure my husband has a home?

The story is we pulled into a little truck stop in Hampshire TX, which is close to Beaumont earlier this week about 11 pm to sleep for the night.  There was a small house @ the edge of the lot with all sorts of appliances sitting out on the porch, new clean appliances airing out.  I noticed someone laying behind the house which was right @ the edge of the brightly lit gravel parking lot.  I made my husband look and make sure I wasn’t seeing things but it was a bearded homeless man.  I asked my husband to take the dog out.  He usually does @ night anyway but I sure didn’t want to be chasing the dog by the man laying on the ground.

I got up about ever hour that night, not sure why, I guess I was afraid the man would be right outside the truck bouncing a ball against a wall like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and grinning..although this guy in no way resembled Jack.  Or maybe sitting there with a sign that said I eat bichons?   I told the ladies inside the nice clean little truck stop about it in the mornng.  I don’t know if they called anyone but the man was still there when we left.

I know I’m pretty sheltered despite riding with my husband in the truck but this is the first time I’ve seen a homeless man sleeping that close ever.  I know it seems like there are more homeless people now.   I am a fairly tolerant person, probably middle class, and I was astonished @ my reaction of fear.  I think part of it was brought on by his choice of sleeping places since if he had moved a few feet over he would have been in the dark shadows and I would have never seen him.  I have no idea why he slept in the glare of the vapor light?  He wasn’t even old and was a large skinny man with a red beard.

Image from: Mirror

OK people, I need a diet where I can eat everything I want which is basically unlimited after 6 pm when you aren’t supposed to eat?  Before 6 pm I can take food or leave it but after 6 it’s like feeding frenzy time, the dog even gets worried…yes I have to fit into a dress this weekend for youngest sons wedding, it looks OK with the STRONG panties (we won’t call it spanx or a girdle, it’s STRONG panties) but moving is a bit of a problem.
Also I REALLY don’t like pretty boys who think they are Gods gift to women but aren’t because pretty boys usually have a defect (yep that’s it), I will tell them if they ask me.  They need to GET OVER themselves and do their jobs.   I used to look BETTER than their girlfriends so they might as well face facts, they will be the 40 year old or the 50 year old soon and they won’t do it NEARLY as well as I do!    And while they are at it they need to develop a personality because they may have to rely on that later when the face goes….
Snotty people in general are on my hit list for tonight but we won’t go into that…please forgive me if I’ve ever been snotty, catty, or cliquey, I mean I know I can’t open my mouth without being catty sometimes but you must admit it’s entertaining if nothing else?  Rude people who have no reason to be rude in general get my goat, I don’t know why us regular humans try sometimes……I think if people are just unfriendly a small shock would not be out of line….ZAP….did I say that?

Thank goodness I sit here by myself and work on the internet most days…..others may be thankful too, not sure….
End of Rant.

Because only a genius could have dsl for 3 months, think it’s a tad slow but just be so glad to have something a bit faster than satellite that she doesn’t care.  Then husband hooks up mac ibook of his yesterday (yes you read correctly, he does have his own laptop, can hook it up, and I let him use the ibook, actually less chance of him getting a virus or screwing something up) and ibook gets blazing fast speeds.  I’m supposed to be getting 12M dsl which I presume to mean megabytes a second?  I’m getting almost 8 on the ibook this morning.  I’ve been getting almost 1 on the windows box, cutting edge hp 5 years old with windows xp (well it was cutting edge 5 years ago!)….  So I’m thinking the wireless adapter on the windows box is limiting the bandwidth.  BINGO!!!  For laymen OLD networking stuff is BAD (this is what comes of hooking up wireless without hooking up ethernet @ all because I CAN!!).  So I use the actual ethernet cord that came with the modem, hook it up stringing it carefully through the slot on the back of the computer desk, and I’m getting blazing speeds (well 1.5 to 6M) with the windoze box.   Problem is the cord is too short and to go all through the house the modem has to be up high so the laptops will work in our bedroom, not that I use it much there but I CAN!!!

So I dig an old ethernet cable out from behind the computer desk, I”m telling the truth here people do NOT make fun,  I haven’t messed with ethernet for a year or so (try 3 or 4)  but this desk has sat in this spot for 4 years…anyway the modem is on the shelf above the computer since the cord (that is still hooked to it temporarily)  is too short for it to go on top of the desk and I just sat it there about head level on the shelf while I tested the cord, the computer box  is down in it’s little enclosed space down below so I have to pull it out……THE CORD IS STILL HOOKED UP and is being pulled through that little slot in the back of the desk….!!!! Crash bang boom the world goes black, I didn’t hit the floor but the modem hit the top of my head.  I’m not bleeding but I’ve got some seriously thick hair.  The great part is I wait till my husband is gone to do all of this!!  He didn’t witness it but he wasn’t here to tell me NOT to do what I did or take care  of me….  It might be a good thing he wasn’t here to see it…

Modem still works, my speed is good….head hurts a bit…

Happy Fathers Day to All fathers today!!!!

I didn’t get my email in 24 hours like facebook said.  So probably by writing this article I’ve completely screwed my chances of being a facebook beta tester but I think they were already screwed because I haven’t heard a word from facebook (or anyone I asked to comment on my entries, you know who you are, ahem….).

If you have NO idea what I’m talking about go to your home page on facebook, (you ARE on facebook aren’t you?) and see if there is a link on the right for beta testers, if not don’t despair, refresh, maybe it will appear later, I’m not sure mine is always there.  If it’s not there then I really don’t know what to tell you.

The first part of the page says:

We at Facebook are preparing to launch a brand new product to the world. We think it will be as exciting as Facebook Photos and Facebook Events, but we need your help to make it great.

As a beta tester, your job will be to ask great questions and provide great answers about your favorite topics. Economics? Skydiving? Relationships? Mexican Restaurants? It’s up to you. You’ll be the first person outside of Facebook to use this product. Your expert writing will be seen by tens of millions of people — including job recruiters. And we’ll bring our best beta testers out to California to tour Facebook headquarters and meet the team.

Now some took that to mean they were entering and immediately  flying out to CA to visit facebook.  I ask you does it say fly anywhere?  No?  Well it does say they will bring you so I suppose they will give you gas money @ least….OK, I’m just kidding.  I haven’t packed my bags yet though.

I know why they didn’t pick me.  But I couldn’t help it….I went on and on, not badly, just longer than their examples.  In other words I have problems with stopping writing, sort of like this paragraph.

I used personal examples too.  I’m not sure that was a good deal.  But ya know I haven’t lived anyone else’s life yet so mine is pretty much all I can be sure of drawing from…

Anyway has anyone else tried this or gotten the return email?  Don’t tell me everyone else has gotten the email in 24 hours, it says facebook hearts you and gave you warm fuzzies?

That is my foot and no I wasn’t standing on my head, it was just easier to take the photo like that.  The bandage is the big deal, not my blue veins or the chipped toenails (I really do have skinny ankles but all angles made them look like tree trunks, that’s why the weird angle if the truth be known, OK, are you  happy now???).

How did I hurt my foot?

I cut it,

letting the dog out,

last night, on the door,

the back door to our house which isn’t particularly dangerous to most functioning humans.  It’s a really old door and has a piece sort of sticking out @ the bottom.  Evidently I stepped back and although I have calluses on my heels (the older I get the more I think my feet are trying to grow hooves) I guess calluses aren’t that much protection.  the little piece of plastic that is meant to protect the bottom of the door cleanly sliced into my heel about 1/2 inch.

I am not going outside to do gardening until it @ least closes up.  With my luck considering I am the first (and probably the last) person to stab herself with a door I’m not risking getting the heel wet and or dirty.

This is the dog trying to fathom what in the world mama could POSSIBLY be doing as I was taking above picture….

I can see him thinking has she gone nuts.  Why is she holding the phone by her foot?  Why is her foot on the coffee table?  Will I have to help her do something?  I think I’ll sit by Daddy and maybe he will get up and get something to eat?

Oh and this dog? I  don’t mean to be gross but you usually have to keep a wound away from a dog because their instinct is to lick it and try to make it better for you?  Not this dog.  He’s like EWWWWWWW get that THING away from ME, it’s bleeding, what do you think woman I took the Hippocratic oath while you weren’t looking.  Get it out of my SIGHT!!

Or that’s what he looks like to me?  He does run if he thinks you’re bleeding.

Wife: breaks off light-bulb in garage sale lamp.  Tries to get base out with needle nosed pliers but can’t because she broke the light-bulb by tightening it too much in the socket.

So she takes it to husband, he looks @ it and spends approximately 3 seconds loosening it.

Wife says, “I couldn’t get that no matter what I did, how’d you do this, this is why I have such a big strong husband, THANKS!!”

Then she says “is that enough or do I have to lay it on thicker?”

Husband tells wife to do a physical impossibility which we will leave to your imagination.